A View From the Pew

Dark night

this afternoon I have been going through files---- sorting and organizing--- forgot I had written this one months ago---

Darkness clouds all knowing
In painful silence listening
A stranger in an even stranger land
I am forced to journey.
So strange is the landscape of my being
A road map without a key

A person I do not know emerges from
the mirror of my God
I do not recognize
this person who lives in the deepest
Recesses of my heart
this place I cannot navigate alone

Stranded in the darkness and silence
I walk the empty night
Trusting each step only to the solid
Rock beneath my feet
All my senses are left in pitch and void
Faith in the Rock is all that
Guides my feet.

Words betray my deepest thoughts
And make a mockery of my misery
I speak in a language unto itself
Which no other person understands
Save the One whose indiscernible
embrace upholds me

Oh what sweet joy this knowledge brings
to know that at the end of this long night
that it is Your closeness
that has blinded me to everything.
Trusting only your gentle presence
deep within me
through this dark night I journey
one blind step after the other
Believing beyond all sight and worldly wisdom
in the knowledge that you are near
I await the light of dawn
To live immersed eternally
in the devastating brilliance of Your Love.

Awakening

I stand on the edge of my life staring into darkness
Scattered around me the debris of another day
Fragments of promises and dreams relinquished or lost
Carried away by the winds of time
My heart lies at my feet.
Like many shards of broken glass

So tiny, so fragile and insignificant,
I fear I will be crushed into dust
from the weight of this great emptiness.
Only then to be carried away
like smoke upon the wind
And scattered beyond
the four corners of earth
would anyone notice?

Where does this darkness end?
Where did it begin?
A memory as ancient as time
forms in the hollow of my heart
I remember long ago the sun's warmth
Like fire's breath upon my skin
Creating sparks that danced in my soul.
In which direction does this hope lie?

Behind me stands the landscape
of a life haphazardly lived.
Good intentions and promises
Lie scattered about me broken and useless
like a child's forgotten toys

Ahead of me there is nothing but the dark
No form, no shimmer or glint of light .
I close my eyes to fend off the wretched darkness
A prayer forms out of the blackness that surrounds me

A voice I do not recognize
wells up from the depths of my soul
At first nothing more then a whimper
It grows louder until it becomes
like the cry a wild creature
caught in the hunter's snare.

The words pour forth from my lips
A flood rising from
the depths of my heart
I cannot stay the flow for
the words possess life
beyond my feeble efforts.
Help me, Lord, I am lost!
O Eternal Love,
Bring your light to my path,

As the torrent wanes my courage swells
I open my eyes once again
I strain to look through the dark and foreign landscape
Then I see on the fringe of my life there is a new Light,
Radiant with a beauty surpassing mere mortal words
It rises before me brilliant like the morning sun.

Shapes and forms unfold around me
Shadows dissipate into vibrant hues
The new dawn's Light plays upon my face
It's warmth fills every dark crevice of my being
Suddenly I am filled with its glorious fire.

For a precious moment I burn with its exquisite joy.
From the ashes wrought of this holy flame
my soul blossoms forth in verdant hope.
I am born anew to the only truth that matters
I am the Father's beloved child.